Monthly Magazine: New Jersey Edition
September 26, 2023
Kansas City Chiefs at New York Jets
Seriously though. OMG. Taylor Swift at MetLife Stadium. Sunday. OMG. OMG. Omggggg!!!
Attention all New York and New Jersey Swifties: We’ve got great news! You can actively participate in Taylor Swift’s life on Sunday, and it doesn’t have to cost you a mortgage, a car payment or a year’s supply of eggs. In fact, it might not cost you anything at all if you play this thing right.
Sidenote: There’s a football game taking place at that same stadium, and Tay Tay’s favorite team featuring her favorite beaux will be there. And guess what else? Her team is a whopping 9.5-point favorite. Don’t worry if that doesn’t necessarily make sense – all you need to know is that the Kansas City Chiefs are, like, soooo much better than the New Yok Jets.
P.S. – Taylor never went out with Aaron Rodgers and she’s not writing any songs about Zach Wilson anytime soon (not even sure if she’d get along with Zach’s mom).
Anyyywhooo… this feels like a great opportunity – even if you like the Jets – to support our girl and get back some of that money you spent on concert tickets. Here’s how.
What to like about the Jets…
- Um. Not much at the moment. The miraculous days (or, day, singular) of “win it for Rodgers” are gone. No more rabbits will be pulled out of a hat, as the Jets did in Week 1 following Aaron Rodgers’ season ending injury. Since that game, the Jets have scored 10 points and 10 points against the Cowboys and Patriots respectively. A Jets defense that looked solid against the Bills has since given up 33 and 15 against Dallas and New England. Everything and everyone in New York looks to be shell-shocked.
- For these purposes, we “like” the Jets because Wilson will be asked to participate in the weekly track meet that is the Kansas City Chiefs. He’ll be asked to keep pace with one of the NFL’s most dynamic offenses, and let’s be honest, he simply can’t. The Jets can’t run the ball (last week they had 38 rushing yards on 22 carries) and that’s largely because defenses will dare Wilson to beat them. Kansas City, as they should, will do the same.
What to like about the Chiefs…
- There’s no bigger stage than New York. Scratch that – there’s no bigger stage than New York when Taylor Swift might be on the scene. Want to know what the Chiefs love? The spotlight. And they thrive underneath it. If winning the Super Bowl and being featured in “Quarterback” weren’t enough already, the Chiefs are now somehow an even bigger story having become the preferred team of Swifties across the land. K.C. is not going to lay an egg on an oh-so-glorious national stage. That’s a promise.
- Duh. Travis Kelce, y’all. For the realz though. It’s not only that the Chiefs tight end has been given the stamp of approval by America’s favorite voice, it’s that he’s back and healthy. There’s zero coincidence in Kansas City’s production this season. When Kelce was out hurt, the offense struggled. When he came back against Jacksonville in Week 2, the Chiefs looked better. And in Week 3 against a bad Bears team and in front of America’s Sweetheart, they were even better. This pattern will continue, as the best team in football, behind the best tight end in football, are clicking. That’s a bad thing for the rest of the NFL, especially the Jets.
Steve Quinne’s Pick: Parlay: Kansas City -9.5 + Travis Kelce Anytime TD +220
C’mon, Jets fans. You’ve got to try to have some fun with a season that’s painfully gone awry. You might as well take advantage of a game that’s sure to pay – if, and only if, you bet on the biggest story in sports – and that’s Trav + Tay (again, insert heart emoji here). There’s absolutely zero chance that the Chiefs come into MetLife flat – especially now that they’re playing for something much bigger than a Super Bowl, aka, Swiftie Nation. [Fun, non-confirmed fact: Consulting on the project, it was originally Steve Quinne’s idea to utilize an orchestra-only version of Taylor Swift’s “Wildest Dreams” in the hit series Bridgerton. No royalties were received… by Quinne, that is.]